In many ways, just a typical annoying five year old girl. She loves to sing. All. The. Time. She gets especially frustrated when you don't pay enough attention to her, and when she's mad enough, becomes a psychotic demon child that relieves her frustrations by hitting you. Thankfully, her tiny fists don't do a whole lot of damage, but she, like all children, has the ability to hit you right in the spot that should never be hit. Jigglypuff will grow up to be the crazy girlfriend that most guys drink to forget.
The ultimate bachelor. He played football in high school, but really let himself go after graduation. Attended a local junior college for a couple years, but found that waking up before 2 PM was becoming problematic, and dropped out of Auto Mechanics 101 to give himself more time for things like not working and clogging his arteries. His kitchen is now more of a storage shed, and why buy a safe for all of your irreplaceable belongings when you can just store them in the oven? Trashcans are irrelevant, which is evident by the three inches of fast food wrappers on the floor in nearly every room.
Kirby's the sole fat kid in your first grade class. It's not really his fault, it's not like he's inactive or anything, his parents just don't understand how to teach good eating habits to their children. Oh, you'll make fun of him. Everybody else does! But just wait until he's a linebacker for the NFL and marries what you thought was your wife. He'll deliver the divorce papers himself, right as he charges over you with all 300 pounds of pent-up elementary school aggression.
Poor Link. He's the computer addict that dates the first girl he finds on the internet willing to put up with his overuse of emoticons and ridiculously obnoxious proclamations of love. His constant talk of meeting up in real life and doing everything in his power to find her will eventually result in being single again, because no girl looking for a boyfriend on the internet is interested in commitment. Or stalkers.
Lucario seems like a pretty normal guy; friendly and polite enough to not be suspicious to others. Too bad he's a furry. Yep, he gets off on anthropomorphic animal pornography. In fact, he even has his very own "fur suit,"and if you don't know what that is, then I wish I could live a day in your life so that I can have some peace from my own mind.
Lucas is the kid that comes from an insanely Christian family, and isn't allowed to do any of the things the other kids are doing. His parents don't even let him play with Pokemon cards, because they believes Pokemon is an instrument of the devil. Always pious, he's quick to tell you when your actions are immoral and openly judges the other children. When he gets older, kids will probably refer to him as Hitler because of his totalitarian behavior and Aryan appearance.
We all have one. That friend, relative, acquaintance, etc., that takes offense to everything you say and always walks off upset. Everyone has to walk on eggshells around Luigi, and frankly, they're tired of putting up with it. If nothing else, the mustache is an indicator that he's a grown man, and he needs to start acting like it, or he's not going to get invited to the Christmas party and I'm not gonna be the one that has to explain to him why nobody asked him to come. It's always me that has to deal with this situation, and I'm not doing it anymore.
The guy that takes charge in every situation. In school? He did all the projects himself, because he knew he would do them correctly, and everyone else would just screw it up. At work? If it was up to him, he would work alone, and he could probably run an entire business a whole lot more efficiently if he didn't have to deal with coworkers getting in his way. And why shouldn't he think that way? Isn't he better than all the others? Maybe it's a Napoleon complex, he's trying to dominate everything because he feels physically inferior to those around him.
Marth is a really, really effeminate gay guy. He doesn't realize that he's an insult to the gay community, because he purposefully tries to adhere to all the typical gay stereotypes in a failed attempt to be accepted. He wears a headband and full make up, and makes jokes all the time about "sword fighting." Seriously, Marth, stop trying so hard. It's embarrassing.
Meta Knight's parents spoil him like crazy. His favorite holiday is Halloween, and his parents buy him the best, most expensive costume every single year. And he loves it so much, he refuses to take it off for weeks. At least he's grateful. Meanwhile, you're stuck wearing an orange garbage bag and trying to convince people you're a pumpkin, even though you just look like a homeless person wearing a makeshift poncho. The fact that you haven't bathed in a few days and smell pretty bad doesn't help your case. One family even called Child Protective Services. Maybe next year, you should just stay home.
And that was part two. Seriously, give me some feedback! I want to know you're enjoying these. And that's ALL I want to know.
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Preemptive strike: I love you too.