Things that aren't cool.

Eyes

People touching their eyes is only slightly more horrible than this drawing. Hands are hard to draw, okay? I feel like, somehow, nature anticipated the onset of this fear and gave me perfect vision. I guess if my vision suddenly deteriorates, glasses are always an option, but contacts would absolutely be out of the question. Touching my eye? No, nope, no way. Not gonna happen. I can't explain why this freaks me out so much, but every time I see somebody touch their eye, or nearly touch their eye, or...things with eyes...I go into a thrashing fit until they're not doing it anymore. I can't handle it.

My body wash

Okay, I get that based on precedence, it seems like I have a serious aversion to bathing. That's not the case. I like taking showers, I like being clean, I just have a hard time finding the motivation to actually move sometimes. That, and the fact that my body wash is like rubbing yourself with congealed sand. It's Dove, so you'd think their experience in the soap industry would help avoid catastrophes like this, but no. It was the biggest and cheapest bottle of body wash Target had at the time, and since I don't have a job anymore, it seemed like a deal I wouldn't regret.

Think again, Drew.

It has the texture of fine sand mixed in with animal fat; goopy and rough. Plus, the lid likes to slam shut on its own, which tends to happen in mid-squeeze. Every single time, it shoots blobs of "soap" directly into my eyes, and it hurts. Words cannot express how much I hate this stuff. I'm going to use it all, because not only am I stubborn, but I spent the money and I'm too poor to waste it and buy new stuff. Trust me, I'm not happy about it whatsoever. I understand now why it was so cheap to begin with. Nobody wanted it, and I fell for their stupid ploy to pass on what can only be described as a grainy lipid to unsuspecting customers.

Christina Aguilera

Maybe I'm being harsh, I don't know. Hatred is the horse blinder of the emotional world. If you want to hear my reasoning for why I dislike her so much, go ahead and read this. I won't rehash everything again, but I really, really wanted to post that drawing. In spite of the contents, it's truly nothing short of a masterpiece.

Mouth issues

Personally, a nice smile is one of the biggest things I notice when I'm judging someone's attractiveness. I get that some people don't have the money to fix their teeth or whatever, but I can't help that it just bothers me. And there's a difference between teeth that aren't perfect, and teeth that could allow someone to eat an apple through a picket fence. If you have difficulty closing your mouth or speaking correctly because of your dental situation, it's time to take out a loan and get that shit fixed.

Bad breath, on the other hand, is something that I have yet to learn how to tolerate. Somehow, I always manage to attract people with breath as rancid as the box of month old pasta I found crammed behind my desk last night(I truly have no idea how it managed to fall back there and not be noticed for as long as it was. I didn't even smell it; I happened to be cleaning my room and threw it out before it developed sentient life and tried to murder me in my sleep). It seems like the people that should respect personal space the most have no concept of personal space at all, because not only are they attracted to me for whatever reason, but they think it's necessary to maintain a distance of roughly three inches from my face at all times during the conversation.

Attempting to remain interested in the conversation is next to impossible, because the entire time, I'm screaming at them in my head and doing my best to not lose consciousness from the noxious fumes being exhaled directly onto my unprotected face.

Hot weather

Hot weather is the bane of my existence. Not only is it uncool, but it's uncool. Every year, when summer rolls around, I become even more unproductive than I already am, something I truly didn't think possible. In my ideal world, the temperature would never go above 75 Fahrenheit and everybody would get out of my way on the road, because I know how to drive and they don't.

I can't decide who's the bigger ass hole, the sun or society; society, because it decided that it's normal to function during the day when it's freaking hot outside, or the sun, for making it freaking hot outside.

Leave a comment or six and tell me some stuff you would consider lame!