Functioning normally. Kind of. Not really.

Spring semester started today. This means numerous things: I have to wake up at a normal time two days a week, I'm responsible for actual work, and I'm a handful of units closer to never attending school again. After months and months of having nothing productive to do, it's a nice change from what became the norm for me, waking up at noon and hissing at the sight of a productive activity. 

Strangely, or perhaps not so strangely(I can never tell), I currently feel as if I have no body. I'm just a floating brain/head/consciousness, typing with my invisible and nonexistent hands through sheer force of will. Is this what waking up at 7:30 does to a person? Or is it just me? When you're not in school and you have no job, these questions aren't present in your life; your biggest worry is whether or not you have enough Lucky Charms to last the rest of the week.

But never fear, I'm in no real danger of work overload this term. Thanks to the forces of the universe conspiring against me, I managed to miss my registration date by a whopping three weeks, meaning I could only obtain seven units this semester. That's right, seven. Three classes. Music 101 and 102, knocking out my Arts & Humanities requirements, and Introduction to Yoga. I feel like complaining whatsoever about my class schedule this semester is worthy of getting my ass kicked, a punishment I might find myself partaking in if it were to happen. While I'm not sure if I can literally kick my own ass, as it's not something I've ever attempted to do, I'm positive I could provide some assistance to my righteous assailants in causing myself some form of bodily harm.

I attend class from 9:30-12:30  and then 7:30-9:00 on Tuesdays and Thursdays, so it's not as if I'm on campus somewhere north of 10 hours a day, multiple days a week, like many students are. But hey, I'm also not dumb enough to major in something that requires that many obtuse classes. The joke's on you, science and math majors! While you're making your cushy six-figure salary, I'll be enjoying an ample yearly sum of $55,000-$100,000 a year as an accountant. If that's what I choose to do, anyway. Have I mentioned that I have no idea what the hell I'm going to do once I graduate? Because I don't.

Accounting is one option I'm considering pretty seriously. It involves math, a subject I've grown to loathe, but most of it is practical math, something that I somehow manage to excel at. If you stick me in a Statistics or Calculus class, it would be no different than dropping me in the middle of rural China and asking me to communicate and survive. It makes no sense in my mind. But if you apply math to things like money and economics, it clicks. There's no rhyme or reason to this numerical madness, but like many things in my life, you have to be at least a tiny bit insane to understand my special form of cognition. 

My first music class, Music Appreciation, consists of two papers, two tests, and note taking. The papers have to be five pages long, which will take me a grand total of 45 minutes each to speed through(all the while earning an A, I can guarantee), and the tests are open note. My second class is titled Intro to World Music, and is almost identical to the first, with the exceptions being our papers have to be 2-3 pages long, we have 6-10 in-class/take-home quizzes, all of which are open note, and a final that is also open note. Somehow, if all classes could follow this structure, I think a whole lot more people would be interested in obtaining a college education. Unfortunately for me, music classes lend nothing of great value to my major or potential career options, aside from assisting in the destruction of my General Education requirements.

And so, this will be my life until the last week of April. I haven't attended my yoga class yet, but something tells me it's not going to be academically challenging in any way. In a perfect world, yoga would consist of little more than the Child pose, and the teacher would just let me sleep the whole time. Though I suppose that might be asking a little too much.

Beyonce doesn't know what she's talking about.

If you're familiar with pop music, then you probably know the song "Irreplaceable," by Beyonce Knowles. In reality, she's singing the song to a guy; probably not Jay-Z. To make the song more fun, in my mind, I like to think she's singing it to her vacation weave. While the two are truly inseparable, it's fun to imagine that their relationship might be tumultuous at times and Bey has enough money that the occasional warning about buying a new lacefront is no idle threat.


I, on the other hand, would never threaten my most prized and valued possessions with potential replacement; in fact, there's a handful that I can't get through a normal day without.

My phone

When I wake up, I check it. When I eat breakfast, I check it. When I breathe, I check it. It's my main lifeline to the outside world, and even more so now that my laptop decided to abandon me. It's beautiful and makes seagull noises, a service that nothing else in my life can provide, barring an actual seagull becoming part of my everyday life.

My wii

I love my wii; I play it nearly every day. The sheer number of hours this thing has consumed of my life should probably be embarrassing, but my complete lack of shame has thankfully stopped that from happening. While Brawl has been my consistent obsession since I bought the console, Just Dance 2 has taken up a lot of my time in recent weeks. Sure, I can dance to Ke$ha and Donna Summer in my room whenever I want, but the game makes it slightly less weird; I'm doing it for points.

My tablet

Probably one of the best Christmas gifts I've ever gotten, I try to draw and write nearly every single day. It's a good creative outlet, and I never get tired of drawing myself riding on dinosaurs.  Viacom, if you're looking for an endorsement, look no further; I'm ready to whore myself out for whatever you're willing to pay me. On a slightly unrelated note, so far, everything I care about most is white. I wonder what that says about me.

Blankets

More specifically, the leopard print blanket I carry everywhere. It's warm, it makes me look like a pimp, and my cat likes me a whole lot more when I'm draped in what appears to be her cousin. I've answered the door on more than one occasion while it's wrapped around me like a cocoon, and the looks I've gotten from total strangers are truly Kodak moments.

Cereal

Aside from nacho cheese, cereal is my favorite food group. It is truly everything anybody needs to survive. When I get to the cereal aisle in the grocery store, I immediately transform into a five year old; buying a box of cereal I want is like waking up on Christmas morning and finding out every day for the rest of your life is going to be your birthday, and everybody will give you anything your tiny heart has ever desired. There is no better feeling on this planet.

Chloe

My cat. She both loves and despises me more than any other living thing on this planet. When she chooses to be awake, she follows me everywhere, and can never seem to get enough attention; when I choose for her to be awake, I feel she wants nothing more than for me to be dead. She's a total badass, and has killed probably thousands of animals, including snakes and jackrabbits.

What is something you can't get through the day without?