Food that shouldn't be considered food.

Everybody has foods they dislike, and I tend to like things that a lot of people don't, and dislike things that a lot of people enjoy. I'm weird. However, in some(most, all, whatever) of these cases, I like to think that most people would agree with me. Here's some insight into my taste.

Watermelon

I generally consider all melon to be wretchedly awful, but watermelon is the worst offender of the bunch. It's grainy, watery, and tastes like everything that's ever been wrong with fruit. Everyone seems to love it, and I'll never understand why. Groupthink, most likely. You're all sheep.

Cilantro

This shit is disgusting. It's like dirt and soap combined with a plant, rolled in feces and prejudice. I am completely alienated from Tex-Mex cuisine because everything is full of cilantro. There are certain dishes that allow me to ignore the taste and enjoy everything else, such as guacamole, but those exceptions are few and far in between.

Celery

Eating celery feels like someone wrapped hair in a disgusting, crunchy exterior. When it's cooked and mushy, it's fine, but raw celery is probably my least favorite food in the world. I've been told, "Oh, just eat it with peanut butter! It's delicious!" Guess what? Tried it. I require roughly two jars of peanut butter for one stalk of celery, which defeats the purpose of eating celery; because it's, you know, healthy. 

Marmite

I've had the pleasure of eating this satanic concoction twice in my life, most recently at my friend's dad's house on New Years Day. Imagine, if you can, eating the thick, brown child of salt and yeast; it is possibly the only thing in the world that can make toast disgusting. We as a society are worse off because of the existence of marmite. If the U.S. terror alert levels were affected by the presence of food, this stuff would drive us into red alert on a regular basis. The UK should be investigated for using biological weaponry against the world population solely for inventing this crap.

Balut

No, this "No Image Available" thing is not a mistake, I didn't post a dead link in this entry. I'm sparing you from seeing what balut looks like. In case you've never heard of it, balut is a boiled, fertilized, only slightly underdeveloped duck or chicken egg that is eaten directly out of the shell. It's incredibly popular in Southeast Asia, and apparently considered to be an aphrodisiac. If someone tried to get me to eat a dead, whole baby duck, the last thing I would be doing is trying to get in their pants. I'd most likely be vomiting as I ran out of the room.

My original intent was to have drawings for this post, but it didn't happen. I still need to download Macromedia Flash on my netbook, so we'll be without illustrations for a while. Enjoy the pretty pictures from Google for now, everybody!